Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Lies, Black and White.

lies
black or white
if hurt is the outcome
then its not good
if its not good
then better stop saying those lies

because once you hurt someone you love
you become the biggest loser among the losers

i know
i've said lies too many times
and hurt too many people

and now
the table has turned

THE person i never thought of hurting me
now hurts me the most
and THAT person does not even feel sorry
for all the tears and pride that he/she had stolen from me
leavin' me an empty soul with no life

all because of one damn big lie

so.
don't lie.




Saturday, August 6, 2011

100 Days Before Death

Ini tajuk drama yang baru saja saya tonton tadi di RTM 1. 

Seronok.

Sangat menyedarkan dan mengingatkan.

It is a story of a rich man (typical) and his driver and their 100 days before death. 
Both ada contradiction in characteristics. 
The rich one forgets the Creator. Malam malam mabuk sampai ke subuh.
Solat pun tak walaupun ada bina satu masjid. 
Berbeza dengan driver dia. 
Selalu cuba nasihat bos dia but tak menjadi.
Macam besa la.
Good vs. Bad.

Then ditakdirkan Allah sampaikan tanda tanda kematian to both of them.

By the way, talking bout tanda tanda kematian ni, its interesting.
100 hari nak mati pun Allah still bagi peringatan.
So, korang search la apa tanda tanda tu.
Aku tgk cita tadi ingat la sikit sikit.
Tak banyak. Nak banyak kena search lagi.

So, back to the story.

The driver recognizes them and banyakkan amalan dia. Si bos tak ingat ingat sampai ke sudah.
On their last day, si driver keluar kerja awal sebab bos dia mabuk mabuk lagi sampai subuh. 
By this point, saya dah boleh agak, both akan mati in the same car at the same time. 
And memang begitu pun.
Dua2 mati accident di subuh hari di dalam kereta yang sama.

And it's tragic (to me, at least) because two persons die at the same time but with different endings. 
Sorang sempat mengucap. Sorang tak sempat. 

And it makes me think. 
Aku nanti sedar ka kalau Allah perjelaskan tanda tanda kematian tu kat aku.
Drama ini ada impact pada aku.

How will my life end?
Like the driver or like the boss
I hope like the first one
God, please let it be like the first one.


One more thing;

Bila matinya anak Adam, maka terputuslah semua amalan kecuali 3 perkara:

  1. Doa anak yang soleh
  2. Amal jariah
  3. Ilmu yang memberi manfaat
 So, harap harap i can be a help for my late father by keep on praying for him.




Dear God, please forgive me, my family and the people I love, and please bless our life here and in the hereafter. Amin.

Apa apa pun, 
sama sama la kita make ourselves better for our own sake later when we are called to meet our Creator, Allah SWT. 

Insya-Allah. 

(",)



ps: I hope you read this and realize sumthtink, dear someone.

new

it's mybookmyway now.

i think it's better than before.

don't you think so?

i think so. :)

Friday, August 5, 2011

True Love in a Cruel World...

...and it's not between humans.

It goes like this. 

I finished my teraweh and went back home. Teruja nak tengok t.v. Flicked through the channels. Nothing interesting caught my attention. So, macam biasa, bila dah takdak cita len yang best, baru bukak SBS channel. Kebetulan ada cita "TV Animal Show" or something like that. They were telling a story bout a Standard Poodle. This poodle loves riding a bike. And playing see-saw. Like a human child. Cute. 

But, mana true love nya?

So, on to the next story.

Ni cerita pasal anak kucing baru kematian ibunya. Tak sadis lagi. Depa dok kat lorong gelap yang sangat kecil. But, what made the locals called the TV crew was the fact that the kitten tak pernah tinggalkan ibu dia yang dah lying dead kat lorong itu. Except for makan time la. So the crew pun stalk la kucing ni at night time. Nak check la dia pandai cari makan sendiri ka dak. What they saw was the first thing that touched my heart. Anak kucing itu makan tanah and ranting-ranting kayu for itself. Wait for the best part. After that, after dia dah kenyangkan diri dia (i don't know kenyang ka dak but it seemed so), dia pun melewaq (merayau in my language) cari makanan untuk ibu dia  yang dah mati. And guess what it found for the mother. A nice piece of meat. Yup. A nice piece of meat which is 1000000000 times better than dry soil and sharp twigs. Boleh ja dia nak makan instead of bagi kat mak dia yang sebenaqnya dah  mati pun. But no. It took the meat to the dead mother. Then jilat jilat mak dia konon kejut la suh bangun and makan. Of course la tak makan si mak tu. That bit of the story really really really made me think of something.

Sedih sangat. 

Then, the crew decided to rescue the kitten. Ya la. Tiap tiap malam dok makan kayu. Dahla mak mati. Takdak sapa nak jaga dia. So, depa tangkap kucing itu and amek mak dia sekali nak tanam. But first, the crew took both kitten and mummy kitten to clinic. Kat situ pun dia duduk ja tepi mak dia. Jilat jilat mak dia as if trying to say, "Everything's fine, mummy. These people won't take you away from me."

So sad. And i did cry. 

Now THAT'S true love.

The thing is, the kitten really loves the mummy kitten. Me? Aish. 

And kebetulan hari ini I had a big row with my mama. I even thought I wanna just lari and stay kat Shah Alam tk balik balik. I know, right. What was i thinking?!

My sis asked me, "Then what if mama mati? How"

I was angry so i just said I don't know. 

I guess now I know. 

Kitty, I'll be like you. 

Faithful to my mama and take care of her even after she's gone later.

Mama, I love you. I was just angry. But I will not stop loving you.



ps: Onion rings sedap. :D

Thursday, August 4, 2011

RECIPES: Baked Yogurt Chicken & Orange Lassi

hello peeps,

let's move on to a brighter side, shall we?

and what could be brighter than a nice delicious meal, right?

So. Sempena dengan Ramadhan ni, mula lah musim orang menjuai. Juai ayam, juai daging, juai kuih, juai ayaq. Hat tak sedap pun jadi sedap in Ramadhan. As for me, I go crazy for AYAM. Ayam golek, ayam percik, kepak ayam, ayam bakaq, ayam panggang. All kind of ayams and I still can't get enough. Syaitan sungguh.

Dah dua hari saya beli chicken wings kat bazaar. Hari ni saya nak try masak sendiri. So, here's what I've mixed up for the chicken marinade. Oh. Again, I don't have specific sukatan untuk setiap bahan. So kena agak2. :)


Baked Yogurt Chicken


::BAHAN-BAHAN UTAMA::

  • Chicken cutlets. (I used varied cutlets-wings, breast, thigh. 5 in total)
  • Butter.

::BAHAN-BAHAN UNTUK MARINADE (for five chicken cutlets):: 

  • Bawang besaq sebiji-potong potong
  • Bawang putih dalam 5 cloves-potong potong
  • Natural plain yogurt sesuka hati banyak mana
  • Jintan putih 5tbsp kot
  •  Dried chilli 2, 3 batang-koyak koyak
  • Salt, pepper, sugar to taste.

I think that's about it. Kot. 
Blend semua bahan marinade kecuali yogurt. 
Mandikan ayam2 itu dengan lulur marinade tu. 
Then biaq dalam 2, 3 jam dalam fridge. Bila nak bakaq, gris foil dulu dengan butter.
Boh ayam dalam baking tray. Boh dalam oven. 
190 degree celcius. 35-40 minutes. 
Cucuk2 tengok. Bakaq lagi kalau tak masak. Dah siap, perah asam limau. Telan.


Selain itu, saya juga suka minum  lassi. It's a yogurt+fruit juice drink. And it's a yummeh and oh so easy!


Orange Lassi


::BAHAN-BAHAN::
  • Fruit juice (today it's orange)
  • Yogurt, plain.
  • Fresh milk
  • Sikit ja cinnamon powder
  • Cool ice cubes

Senang. Mix everything. Shake it. Taste. 
OOOOOOH. 
Tak manis. Tambah gula. 
Taste. 
Perfect.
So, drink it up bebeh! 

So, for Ramadhan, these recipes are perfect. Try it and taste for yourself. For me, its great together.


p/s: if only I have a good camera, then I can snap some better pics. :( 


 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

It Still Sucks...

...and forever it will be like that.



!! DISCLAIMER !!
**This post will be full of rambling and craps you may not wanna know about. Navigate away if so.**



I hate everything that is happening to me right now.

Everything is so wrong that nothing will ever be right for me.

I cannot do anything that can make myself happy.

It's "rebellious".

I cannot say what I want.

It's "rude".

I cannot decide for myself.

It's "wrong".

And it costs me litres of tears that I cannot even shed.

Yes, you read it right.

I cannot cry when I'm sad and angry.

It's "pathetic" and "inappropriate".

Then, what is left for me to do?

None.

I must follow even if it hurts. Even if I don't want to.

And to be like that is like having the whole world crashed on my shoulders.

It's burdening me, suffocating me and turning me into a negative person I never want to be.

But I don't have any choice, do I.


I waited and waited and waited.

For things to be just a lil bit nicer for me if not tremendously.

Now i know it's not gonna happen.

What should i do?

I dont wanna be a drama queen or a quitter.

So, I guess I'll just wait and hold on.

Till then, let's hope I have an amazing level of patience, just enough to go through this shit test.

Oh. And to the person that i am not suppose to miss, I will try not to miss you now that you are going away.

p/s: rindu diri yang dahulu-stronger and better.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

It Sucks

Today everything sucks.

The boyfriend.

He sucks. Big time this time.

I feel like I have no boyfriend.

There. Said it.

The obligation.

Which ruins everything.

The responsibilities.

Which was not mine in the first place.

Now. It's suddenly mine. Out of my consent.

I don't want to but I have to.

It sucks aite.

The everything.

And this one tiny feeling.

Missing a person.

It sucks.

It becomes worse when you dont know whether that person misses you or not.

And it becomes even worse when you don't know how to stop yourself from being stupid and keep on missing that person.

Haish. What the heck. Today simply sucks.

Maybe tomorrow things will be better.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Let's hope it will be.


p/s: typing this while listening to 2NE1's Lonely. :(

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Latest Events

Hola. 

This post will be a short and sweet post written just to inform my dear readers (i know i have some :p) all the latest events yang sudah saya alami dalam beberapa minggu ini. 

From 22nd of July till24th of July, Family Day. I can tell u it was the best thing that I had ever joined. Yes, we had Family Day before back in Malacca. But, personally, I think 2011 punya Family Day adalah yang terbaek~!. Maybe because I won RM150 cash also kot. "I Will Survive" brought me luck. HAHAHAHA.

Next is tonight's event, "Malam Syahdu". Ini event bukan event saya. Ini event mama saya. Saya cuma kena buat dessert untuk VIP sahaja. I can tell u, sangat stressful. Penuh dugaan. Contoh, puding kasted itu jadi too runny. Defak. Hidangkan saja. Muahahaha. 
So, basically, tu je la. Now im just waiting for Ramadhan.

Wait. Lupa pulak. Now saya juga sudah dilantik menjadi guru tadika di tadika milik sendiri mama saya. Nak kumpul duit to buy new phone. Corby ka apa ka. Sebab henfon saya sudah merajuk dan shut down forever tanak on on dah. So. I need a new one. So. I have to work hard for a new one.

So, basically, tu je la. Now im just waiting for Ramadhan. Hehe. Cant wait. First time after such a long time I have this chance untuk berpuasa di rumah sendiri dan bukan rumah sewa. So, yeah.

Ok. Wait for my upcoming full  family day post. 

Till then. 

p/s: Maybe i won because i sang with my heart. For him. Heck I will survive. :D


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Malam Nisfu Syaaban

Malam ini malam Nisfu Syaaban. 
Aku sendiri konfius dengan kenapa malam ni diangkat sebagai malam yang mulia atau malam yang elok. Banyak kekeliruan timbul mengenai malam ini. 

Baca sana sini macam kata tak boleh baca Yaasin secara khusus. Maksudnya, macam bila malam nisfu syaaban, kita ramai-ramai baca Yaasin TIGA kali, diselang-seli dengan bacaan doa dengan niat-niat tertentu. Berhimpun ramai-ramai di surau atau masjid untuk menghidupkan malam tersebut. 

Ada kata bid'ah (betoi tak eja ntah. saya budak baru belajar). 

Ada kata takpa. 

At least, kita buat benda elok daripada tak buat apa langsung sebab lalai sebab malam ni Malaysia lwn Liverpool (oops!).

Apa-apa pun, kena ingat la yang buat ibadat tu (baca Yaasin, berdoa, solat, etc) tak semestinya mlam Nisfu Syaaban sahaja kena buat. 

Aku pun terkadang ingat, terkadang lupa. Bila aku ingat, aku tolong ingatkan yang mana yang nak ingat. Bila aku lupa, mintak tolong orang (anda ka...) untuk ingatkan aku.

Renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal. Gitew. :)

“Allah melihat kepada hamba-hambaNya pada malam nisfu Syaaban, maka Dia ampuni semua hamba-hambaNya kecuali musyrik (orang yang syirik) dan yang bermusuh (orang benci membenci) 
 
(Riwayat Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzar dan lain-lain. Al-Albani menilai sahih dalam Silsilah al-Ahadith al-Sahihah 3/135).

RECIPES: Korean Beef Bulgogi (my way)

Umum mengetahui, saya suka makan dan makanan. Jadi, kalau suka makan dan makanan, diri sendiri kena pandai masak. Sebab, belum tentu ada duit untuk beli sendiri or belum tentu ada kedai makan jual or belum tentu kedai yang jual itu HALAL or belum tentu rajin nak keluar beli sendiri or belum tentu kedai tu bukak. Mana tahu, dah sampai, tutup. Melepas. Padan muka. Jadi, demi mengelakkan diri dari menghadapi risiko sedemikian, kena pandai memasak. 

Contoh, Korean Beef Bulgogi

*image from Google. Sebagai stimulasi untuk anda sahaja*

 Menatang pa gogi gogi ni kan. 
Tobat tadak juai kot kola ketil ni. So, masak sendiri. 

Lebih murah. Lebih berbaloi. Lebih kepuasan. 

Bebel banyak pun bukan korang baca, so, nah resepi nya :

DISCLAIMER: Resepi ini adalah ilham saya setelah meneliti pelbagai variasi dari Google, thus, my way.

::BAHAN-BAHAN UTAMA::

  • Daging lembu (it's beef bulgogi yah)
  • Bawang besar (kuning, merah, hijau ikut suka. tapi lagi sedap kuning. or merah. haha)
  • Daun bawang (saya suka letak banyak)
  • Bijan (for better taste)
  • Carrot (julienned. how? racik. eh. bukan. potong panjang2. ah. google ja.)
  • Garlic. (minced. saya suka letak banyak)

::BAHAN-BAHAN UNTUK MARINADE::

  • Dark soy sauce (atau apa apa saja kicap yang ada di rumah. saya bantai kicap biasa + oyster sauce)
  • Minyak bijan (sangat penting dan essential in Korean dishes)
  • Gula (sesedap rasa korang. saya suka manis2 sikit for this particular dish)
  • Lime/lemon juice or any acid (sesedap rasa korang jugak.)

I think, dah cukup kot. I racked my brain nak ingat okeh. 
So caranya senang. Daging itu anda potong kalau boleh senipis kertas. 

**TIPS: Potong masa daging itu separa beku. Cantik dan nipis je jadi nanti**

Then, potong la segala bahan2 tadi. Boh dalam satu bekas. Then boh sekali bahan2 marinade. Gaul gaul, ramas ramas. Tutup bekas itu. Boh dalam fridge. Biarkan ingredients dan marinade things tu ber-mingle mingle sesama diorang selama semalaman. Esok. Bangun. Grill lah daging itu sesedap hati. Done.

Makan ni sambil layan "City Hunter" kat SBS channel 393. Menawan okeh. Oh. Baru teringat. Boleh jugak korang blend apple ka buah lai ka, sebijik cukup kot, then masuk jugak dalam marinade. 
Buat la kot mana pun. Sedap. 
 

ps : resepi ini untuk kawan saya, monmon.

pss : tiada gambar hasil resepi ini sebab time buat hari tu takde pulak aku snap2 gambar bagai.
 








the new everything

 I had revamped this blog. Totally. Deleted all the past posts. 
Why? Because when I read through my previous posts, they were all about problems, problems, problems.

So negative. No wonder  I have stress all the time. 
And now the stress affects my dental condition. My jaws are not aligned properly now. 
And mind you, it isn't comfortable at all. 

So I tried a few things to relieve the stress. Example, cooking and drawing/coloring/painting.Cooking helps me a lot. When I mix the ingredients and taste the the final products. Sedap wehhh. And people love my dishes (or so I thought). And their love provides me with satisfaction which I really need.

And then comes the drawing thingy. HAHA. Not that I am as good as Picasso (was he a famous painter or what? Because i'm not sure and his name just pop into my mind and the name sounds like a famous art figure to me. wait. who cares.) when it comes to portraying my inspirations of thoughts and emotions on a piece of pure plain white canvass. No. I just play Paint. U know, the application. HAHA. And I feel good. And proud.

TADAAA~! my ART. :)

i know, right. *clapclapclap*

And so, I've done cooking and art therapy. But I'm not yet truly happy. Or satisfied. I need more.
I need to write down my thoughts and emotions not on just canvas (or Paint sheet) BUT also in writing. Then, I can feel better. I hope so. And, this blog sudah dibiarkan usang sebegitu lama. And I must practice for my creative writing course next semester. Jadi, ini masa yang sesuai la untuk saya hidupkan blog ini semula.

Sepenuhnya.
Gitew.

So, anyway, my point is, I wish to not to be so negative now so that all the things in my life wont be so negative, and sad, and all black. Kalau negatif dari dalam, aura itu akan terpancar ke sekian alam dan membiaskan ke-negative-an itu kembali kepada diri sendiri. Geddit? So, no negativity. Besides cooking and doing art (sounds nice right. ART. haha), I think blogging can help me as well. And I hope I am able to erase all the negativity and HASRUL (no, i'm not bitter) and turn on a new leaf. 
A new perspective on things. 
A new me.
A new thing for everything.

So (how many so dah ni?), here it is. A new post for not-so-new blog. 

Let's share stuff together yeah~!
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